CollabRelating
CollabRelating is an intentional and explicit collaborative discussion about the expectations, conflicts, and health of a particular relationship.
More on CollabRelating
Metacommunication has been defined as communication about communication, “…constantly framing and altering communication processes”
CollabRelating is an offspring of metacommunication, where the communication is about continually framing and altering the processes within a relationship. The concept is not new, however, the word CollabRelating is more definitive in its depiction of the processes by which the experiences of people within a particular relationship are discussed, evaluated, and improved.
An example of a collabrelating conversation aimed for discussing relational expectations might go as follows:
Person A: I’m the kind of person that expects the person I am dating will return phone call or text within a few hours after I reach out.
Person B: I don’t typically have that expectation of others. I’m not sure if that is something I will be able to do. I wonder if there is something else we could do, or if there is a way you can feel assured without a quick response.
Person A: When you are working I understand that you can’t respond. However, when it is your day off and I know you are at home, I think a quick text isn’t an unreasonable request.
Person B: How about I tell you I will try and you can get back to me if it seems like I’m not responding as much as you need?
*Notice how this conversation is focused on the expectations in the relationship and when/if the partners will communicate rather than on what is communicated.
An example of a collabrelating conversation aimed for evaluating a conflict might go as follows:
Partner A: When you continue to ignore my resistance to your parents caring for our children, I feel invisible and hurt.
Partner B: I didn’t realize I was doing that. What could I do to help you feel heard?
Partner A: It would be helpful if you would check-in with me first; before you accept their invitation.
Partner B: I can definitely do that; if you would be willing to talk it through so I can understand why you are against it.
*Notice how this conversation is focused on the process of how the two partners plan to work through the problem prior to attending to whether Partner B’s parents should care for the children.
An example of a collabrelating conversation aimed for checking in on the health of a relationship might go as follows:
Person A: I notice that lately when I ask you questions, your answers seem curt and I get the sense that I am irritating you. Are we OK?
Person B: Oh no! I am really diving into this project and I guess I am having a difficult time stopping to talk when you pop in.
Person A: Is there a better way or time that I could come to you with my questions?
Person B: I wonder if it would work for us to talk about things either first thing in the morning or last thing in the afternoon, unless it is urgent. OK?
*Notice how this conversation is focused on managing when to talk rather than on the topics of discussion themselves. Once the pair have collabrelated about how to manage this tension in their relationship, they will be able to communicate better without the increased tension caused by poor timing.
We Work Professional Development Programs
- For professional counselors and therapists
- For counselors-in-training and departments of counseling, social work, and psychology
- For members of other professional fields where building strong relationships with clients is an imperative (ex. Physicians, dentists, nurses, EMTs, clergy)
We Work Professional Development Programs
Repairing Relationships:
Supporting Couples, Families, and Systems in the Aftermath of Relational Distress
For professional
counselors & therapists
It isn’t uncommon for our clients to experience strain and sometimes rupture in their intimate relationships.
The influence of emotional stress and competing values can lead people to question how (and sometimes if) they are going to maintain relational closeness.
This program bolsters helping professionals as they help others navigate their relationships and create more meaningful connections with the people that matter.
The content examines the sources of common relational ruptures and identifies key evidence-based relationship factors that can spark CollabRelative conversations that lead to the repair and maintenance of a healthy relationship.
Relationship Factors in Counseling:
A Guide for Evidence-Based Practice in Practicum and Internship
For counselors-in-training & departments of counseling, social work, and psychology
This customizable program embraces the idea that clinical training of counselors needs to reach beyond basic microskills to include therapeutic relationship-building skills, which are proven to facilitate positive client outcomes in therapy. Following the path provided by the textbook, Relationship Factors in Counseling, this program is designed to teach counseling students how to intentionally develop and maintain a therapeutic relationship. We will explore an evidence-based relationship factors (EBRF) model of care that supports students as they develop therapeutic relationship skills, expand their cognitive thinking skills, and improve their counseling effectiveness.
Students will learn 10 key relational elements identified by the American Psychological Association (APA) task force in support of evidence-based practice including cultural humility; congruence; unconditional positive regard; empathic understanding; the working alliance (emotional bond, goal consensus and task collaboration); rupture and repair; managing countertransference; and progress monitoring. Skill development activities will help enrich the learning experience and bridge the gap between theory and practice.
Fully aligned with the ACA ethics code and CACREP standards regarding teaching and conducting evidence-based practice, Relationship Factors in Counseling is ideal for professional counselors, social workers, and clinical psychologists in training.
Relationship Factors in Professional Relationships:
A Guide for Developing Constructive Professional Relationships
For Members Of Other Professional Fields Where Building Strong Relationships With Clients Is An Imperative (ex. Physicians, Dentists, Nurses, EMTs, Clergy, cosmetologists, sales consultants)
At times, your professional work necessitates the ability to develop trust and rapport with your patients (clients) quickly.
Professional schools are naturally limited in their capacity to provide relationship-building skills while also providing the required education and practice for any discipline.
Still, if your profession serves people, intentional relationship building skills are a necessity.
This customizable program offers professionals 10 key evidence-based relationship factors known to develop solid professional relationships and enhance your clients experience of you and your team.
CollabRelating for Individuals, Couples, Families, and Groups
CollabRelative Relationships:
10-key Practices of Intentionally Relational Individuals, Couples, Families, and Groups
Our intimate relationships can be a source of comfort, respite, and support.
Our intimate relationships can also the be a source of strain, frustration, and discontent.
Sometimes our intimate relationships are both.
This program offers individuals, couples, families, and groups 10 key relationship skills that are known to help develop, maintain, and reignite healthy relationships.
The content examines common sources of relational ruptures and provides a path toward CollabRelative conversations that can lead to relational contentment.
Gottman Making Relationships Work
Based on Dr. John Gottman’s research and best-seller:
Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work
This 6-hour program provides couples with methods for correcting the behaviors that are known to put relationships on the rocks.
ENRICH YOUR RELATIONSHIP AS YOU MASTER THESE SKILLS:
- Friendship
- Managing Conflict
- Creating Shared Meaning
YOU WILL NOT BE ASKED OR EXPECTED TO SHARE YOUR PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS A COUPLE.
If your relationship is strong, this class will provide you with tools and insights to make your relationship even better. If you have a distressed relationship, this class can provide a road map for repair.
The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work presented by WeWork is NOT recommended for couples who are experiencing extreme levels of conflict, intimate partner violence, psychological abuse, or any other challenge that may require the help of a professional therapist.
